The last semester in high school...
...only comes around once.
l haven't really been on too many dates in the last 16 or 17 years.
l hope l do okay.
You'll do great.
Slide over. You drive.
Nice Expo. Problem is, it's a '98.
What the hell do you know about cars?
Well...
...'98s, there's a little shortage in the battery cable.
lt's nothing a rubber insulation can't fix, though.
Pulling out a condom.
Go ahead, check it out. Give it a try.
You're gonna fix my car with a rubber?
Yeah.
When you were doing your thizzle earlier, you were off the hizzle.
Yeah. What kind of car do you drizzle?
-Drizzle--? -He's designing and constructing one...
...from the ground up...
...which, as of yet, has no reference in layman's terms.
Yeah, so basically, you don't have a car.
Well, l never had a rich pops to buy me anything...
...so l'm just a working man trying to come up.
Yeah, you cool, man.
l'm not feeling this cat.
So let me tell you about the time when l was fixing this police car...
...on the side of the highway. She had that outfit on, the brown one--
-Hey, baby. -l need to talk to you.
Now.
Fellas, y'all have to excuse me.
You are a genius! This is working great! You're so brilliant.
-You look upset. -l am.
-At what? -While you were fronting...
...like you're some player, l was outside waiting for you.
We have a deal.
-We walk the hall together, remember? -Sorry--
Look, Alvin, l think you're starting to feel yourself a little too much.
l do not do that. My mother said you'll go blind!
Whatever.
Look, just don't ever keep me waiting again.
-Hey, we'll catch up with y'all. -All right, guys.
l can't believe this, dude....
What's the matter? l mean, l said l was sorry.
l got caught up. l was hanging with my friends--
The friends who gave you a pepperoni facial?
Look, we squashed all that.
lt's a lot of work, Alvin. The whole interior.
We wanted you to be there.
Okay, look.
We'll get together this weekend, we'll work on the car.
lt'll be like old times. We'll have a good time.
Great, Friday night. We'll get to work on reupholstering the inside of the seats--
Friday, Friday....
-l can't do it. l got plans. -Well, Saturday, then.
Saturday's not good for me either.
You know what? Sunday afternoon.
Yeah. Great. Sunday.
Yeah.
-Gonna introduce me? -You met them in fourth grade, remember?
What's going on?
What's the deal?
Life is good. You all right?
Hello?
Paris?
Yo, Paris!
What are you doing just walking in my house?
The door was open. My bad.
l heard you playing your guitar, though. lt sound hot.
What are you even doing here?
lt's the last day in our two-week contract. l thought we'd hang out.
Let me hear you play.
Come on.
Look, l'm still learning...
...and the lyrics l wrote don't go with my melody yet.
l'll read. You play.
Come on.
"And l rise.
ln spite of my fear inside...
...caused by those who have burned me with their lies.
And l rise.
And l rise."
Look....
Go on, get dressed.
Why?
No more questions. Get dressed.
To my relationships that didn't work
Map of this human heart Starts at the age of 15
When I lost my virginity To a lady, older
Like most boys It was based on the lies I told her
I had so much to prove Like I had more experience
Than she thought I knew And though it wasn't true
It was amazing
But it ended because I did What most young boys do
Listened to the lies of a fool Which led to this girl
Getting socked in the jaw In the middle of school
Even though I didn't do it I felt to blame
Because the girl who hit her was the cousin Of my man who was salting my game
Nowadays it just don't seem cool
Tell me what the hell Am I supposed to do?
And then a wise man gave me a clue
He said "The only way out is the way through "
You know, it's silly...
...but instead of this whole...
..."drill team/Dru Hilton's girl" thing...
...what l really, really always dream about is just going somewhere.
Somewhere where nobody knows me.
Just being this girl with, like, crazy cool dreads...
...and a guitar and-- Oh, never mind, it's really dumb.
You know...
...you could bring your guitar here.
No, l can't.
No, you mean you won't.
This is beautiful.
You know, Al...
...there's something that we've been avoiding all day.
Something that maybe we ought to do.
You know what, you're right.
This might sound kind of silly...
...but how do we do it?
Well....
Just go for it, you know? Just do it.
Okay.
We'll break up first thing tomorrow morning.
ln the hallway, so everybody can see. l mean, make a big scene.
But a dignified scene because, you know, we gotta protect our reps.
Did you hear what l just said? Our reps!
Al Johnson has a rep to protect!
Player, player.
Come on, girl, put a pep in your step. We got school in the morning!
Now, those are the benefits of being raised in a household with vinyl and 8-track.
-You know, old school for real. -Damn, man, you got all the 411.
l'm talking Earth, Wind and Fire.
-"Erf," E with a F at the end of it. -Al?
-Here comes your girl. -Al, l need to talk to you.
Don't you see grown men are talking here?
Anyway, you know, as l was saying, you know, Ohio Players--
Al, we need to talk.
What's up with this "we, we" stuff? This ain't French class. Ain't no "we."
l'm a free agent now.
-That was cruel. -Sometimes you gotta be cruel to be kind.
That's how you keep a lady in check, you know what l'm saying?
You still here?
Bounce. Giddyup.
Damn.
Too many fish in the sea for her to be hounding me.
-l'm feeling this. -l hear you, boy.
She gonna be back too. Watch.
Did you just see how he just dogged Paris?
-l want a strong brother like that. -Yep.
Look at him, standing there looking better than a butter-leather Prada bag.
You got a lot of nerve dissing me the way you did.
Yeah, l know, that's why l came by, to apologize.
But, yo, Oscar goes to you.
Hey, l just really want to say thank you for a great couple of weeks.
Well, l was just doing what l said l would do.
And it worked.
l mean, popularity is so much better than being treated like a social leper.
Popularity's a job, Alvin. Not a privilege.
lt's nothing but work and worries.
Work to get in, work to stay in.
Get a clue.
You're killing them, dog.
Morning, dime pieces.
Your gear is real tight today, boo.
Appreciate it. You know, Nike, Burberry, Gucci, Scooby-Doo.
You're taking me to Jerry's Friday night, right?
Sure. l mean...
...how could l say no to a breezy like you?
For real?
Real is all l am, baby.
l'll holler.
Yvonne, he just broke up with Paris less than 24 hours ago.
You just mad l beat you to him.
It's Yvonne. You're all mine tomorrow night.
You know, Yolanda, my big girl, we're gonna need the whole back seat.
Girls are gonna let us. They're gonna let us, is what l'm saying, when they see this.
-Amazing. -Came out all right, no thanks to you.
Feel the seats, Alvin.
All right. Got the Phat Farm hookup...
...shag carpet, laptop, minibar. Wow.
Wait till you see the routine we got worked out to get in the car.
Here. Stand in the front. Come on, hurry up.
Look, right there.
Doors.
You know, you guys should really clean out the carburetor.
Ben's got an old Holley four-barrel at the shop. l think he'll let me get it.
-Cool. -We're cruising tonight.
l can get right on it. l'll go down there right now, have it fixed.
-l really wanna roll out with you guys. -For real? Right on.
We missed you, man.
We've been checking the GM website, hoping to see your update.
Hey, there's plenty of time for that.
l'll meet you all at Kenneth's house at 8. We gonna party. Go put on your good stuff.
-l don't have any good stuff. -lt's all right.
Hey, yo, man. l'm digging the whip, boy.
l'm feeling it, man.
You got the hooptie.
Look at her.
Yeah, l'm like the Renaissance man of automobiles. You feel me?
This here is my newest work of art. l call this the "groupie hooptie."
This is hot.
Put a microwave in the glove compartment.
Oh, no. Oh, no.
-He's doing it. -Get some. Quench your thirst on that.
He's 63 and a half minutes late. lt's not like him.
Where you going in such a hurry?
-No rush. -l get free long distance on my cell, baby.
l don't need it on a date.
ls your foot on the gas?
Sorry.
Now...
...where were we?
You gotta relax, Al.
lt's all right.
Now, don't you worry, because Mama's gonna take good care of you.
-l was just e-mailing you. -Sure you were.
No, seriously, man, l'm telling you, you will not believe what happened to me tonight.
Give us the keys to our car.
Okay, but l'm telling you, it's coming out like a Penthouse letter.
Y'all know how it is when you're butt-naked with a little cutie, right?
Yeah, right--
We were worried. We thought you might be at Ben's working on our car.
-We went down there, but it was closed. -Took an hour to get his home number.
-You talked to Ben? -Yeah.
He says if you don't come in soon, the camshaft's going back to Germany.
-Oh. -That's right, "Oh."
Look. Let me explain this--
As of midnight, we're officially excommunicating Alvin from the clubhouse.
The clubhouse from fourth-freaking-grade? You can't be serious.
We shall never again speak to, nor respond to any words...
-...from the aforementioned Alvin Johnson. -Chuck, man.
Three, two, one.
Walter.
Fine, then.
Dude, l don't need you losers.
Ain't my fault you guys ain't getting no--
Boobie? All you gave him was a little boob action?
That was all he wanted.
-Was it good? -l was good.
Hello. What happened to the pact that we wouldn't date each other's ex-boyfriends?
This ain't Burger King. You can't always have it your way.
Come on, Zoe.
Something is rotten in the hood.
At first, l was gonna plan a sort of blackmail angle on him.
Then, after a great deal of research...
...l realized he has nothing of value.
So, here l am. l'm telling you. He paid that girl to be his friend.
Aretha, now, your brother would never do such a thing.
Pops, Moms, what's the deal?
Hey, yo, no time for the victuals, l gotta do my thug thizzle.
Gotta have the pimp juice.
l'll holler.
Al, is there something that you want to tell us about your engine part, son?
That engine part that is so very important to your future.
You know what? That's a long story. l'll put you up on game later on tonight.
Let's make a long story short.
Did you or did you not squander your future on some tramp girl?
Moms...
...nobody uses the word "tramp" anymore.
You know, it's more like "chickenhead" or "hootchie."
Plus, it's my future.
And that's my ride to school.
School? Liar. Today is Senior Ditch Day.
You know what? Little biscuithead is right.
l'm gonna go to the beach, check out some breezies...
...put my feet in the water and kick it with my crew.
And l could have lied to y'all, not even told y'all, but y'all my folks.
And l ain't got nothing but love for you. Let me get that.
-Peace out. -l told you so. l told you so. l told you so.
The money he had for the engine, that's what he used to pay that girl.
Well, then that's gonna have to end right now.
Go on, get your purse.
Yo, what's up, Al?
Hi, Alvin.
Wait.
Let me do that for you.
Good looking out.
Why are these B's following us?
Us? Why? We ain't on no date right now.
Don't be mad. l can't bring sand to the beach.
Damn, man. These shorties is really sweating you.
Like gym socks.
-Man, you doing it, baby. -Yo, pimp, pimp, hooray.
l ain't mad at you.
Hey, Kadeem. l need to rap with Al.
Handle that.
So, what's up, shorty?
Shorty, huh?
Look, l was thinking maybe we should still hang out sometime.
As friends.
You're a great listener.
So l guess your boy Anthony's neck didn't taste as good as you made it look?
Please. He's old and tired.
Yeah. And now since l'm the coolest thing since shoestrings...
...you trying to get laced, right?
Al.
lf l'd known you was for sale, l would've bought you sooner.
Now, you need to slow your roll.
How dare you stand in my face popping that noise? Are you crazy?
Look, l made you "Al."
l will work overtime to break you, Alvin. You got that?
You can't break a real man, baby.
l'm waiting for you.
You gonna have to excuse me. l'm all booked up.
-Auditioning prom dates. -Yeah.
Now, there's a real catch. She's given more rides than Greyhound.
Yeah, but l bet you it won't cost me $ 1500 for a ticket.
Yeah. You don't have nothing to say now, do you?
Whatever.
You don't need her no more, boo.
-Yeah. That's what l'm talking about. -Come on, let's dance.
Dance?
Do you really care about me?
Of course l do, girl.
Well, prove it.
l always used to watch you. Yeah.
And you....
You inspired me...
-...to write you a song. -Really?
Yeah. Yeah. lt goes like this.
Olivia, me and you We will rise
Despite our fears inside
Rumor has it today's Senior Ditch Day.
Dru Hilton.
What's the deal, baby? What brings you out here?
Came to see Paris, man. Where she at? Where she at?
Yo. Thirty points last game?
l'm balling, baby. What you know? What you know?
What's up? What's going on, dog, you know what l'm saying?
Dru.
lt's been a while. l wasn't expecting you in town so soon.
You know, team got in a day early, so l thought l'd surprise you.
What do you say you and l get out of here, just the two of us?
You give me a chance to apologize.
All right.
Let me get my things.
Damn, brother. lt's that easy, huh?
Hey, hey, hey. Look, what goes on the road, stays on the road.
Besides, this girl, she's my first love. She can't even picture being with anybody else.
Yo, one of you fools been trying to get with Paris?
-Which one of you? Which one of you? -Yo, chill, Dru, all right? lt wasn't me.
She was Al Johnson's girl. Not mine.
-Who? -Al Johnson, man.
See, the only Al Johnson l know is Alvin Johnson.
Yeah, he getting shorties now.
Aquaman.
All right.
What's wrong?
Why you looking at me like that?
l hear you got yourself a new man.
-Really, it's not-- -Whatever. Whatever.
l didn't come back here for you to lie in my face.
We're done.
-No. No, look. Wait. -Get off me. Get off me!
l swear. Look, l haven't moved on, Dru!
-Alvin! -Yo, Paris, where you going?
Al, get out there. l need you to go tell Dru about our deal.
l'm kind of in the middle of something--
Alvin, Dru is about to leave. Please, just go tell him the truth.
The truth is that we were dating, l got over you, and that was that.
-Al! Dru is-- -Paris, stop it.
You're making a fool of yourself.
Oh, so you won't tell Dru the truth...
...because you're afraid that they'll find out that you paid me to be your friend?
Well, guess what. They just found out.
He just wanted to be popular.
So he spent 1500 bucks on me to hang out with him for two weeks.
That's the truth.
Well, technically, the money was spent on the car.
Olivia. What about our song?
We will rise Despite those who burning us
-She burning us with the lie-- -Shut up.
Didn't have to push me.
That's my song! l wrote those words.
Yeah, what's that old saying?
"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"? Can l get an amen?
A hallelujah?
l was just trying to quote, you know, an old philosopher.
l think it was Pimping Ken or Aristotle or Chris Rock.
Serves him right. Let's go. Come on, let's go.
Hey, y'all, wait up. Anthony. Ted.
Ted. Anthony.
Maybe l should just try and look past all of this.
Girl, you know Dru loves you. He'll take you back.
No, l mean....
You know what l've been thinking, Zoe?
After graduation, l was thinking of moving to San Francisco.
You know, take singing lessons. l mean, l've been learning how to play guitar, girl.
Oh, get real, girl.
You're never gonna be Alicia Keys or Norah Jones.
You're gonna be the wife of an NBA star.
Life doesn't get any better than that.
Hello? Paris?
Paris?
l need to talk to you, son.
Dad, l got all the condoms l could use.
Probably won't be needing any in the near future.
Well, look. Why don't you get up, son...
...because your future is what l'm here to talk to you about.
That's right. l got your camshaft.
Now, you probably gonna have to work like hell to pay this thing off...
...but l don't want you to worry about that till you finish that engine up.
lt's probably too late.
And l have to rebuild the engine to the new camshaft...
...then retest it.
lt's a lot of work.
Okay, then get off your ass and handle your business.
Look, Alvin. Look, man.
When l was in school, l was one of the coolest dudes at the school.
l was something else, man. l had the whole game working.
And l guess l kind of just always wanted you...
...to have that same kind of fun that l did.
But you know why that was?
See, it was because, see...
...l didn't have your brains.
l didn't have your potential.
None of that, man.
But you....
From day one, me and your mama...
...we always knew, man, that you was just gonna achieve some great things for us.
l don't know, l guess maybe l was...
...maybe a little jealous or something. l don't know.
But l'm gonna tell you something, though.
l have always...
...always been proud of you, son.
l been damn proud of you, man.
Look who's awake.
You finished it.
Congratulations, it looks good.
Yeah, thanks. Hey, guys, look--
Man, save your breath.
Look, come on, guys. Don't go. l was--
-What's the matter with the Galaxie? -lt's none of your concern.
The scholarship committee's probably gonna want to look at this engine next week.
Other than that, y'all needed an engine.
Set the screen! Set the screen!
There it is. There it is.
Thirty seconds remaining in the half.
Get back, get back. Come on, Ted. Come on, Ted.
-Basket by number 32. -Hey, that was your man.
You got to call a switch.
See, this is the reason why we're losing.
Because we're infected with losers.
Stay focused on the game, man. Forget them.
Oh, man.
Attention, losers, get out of my good-luck seats now!
No, we're gonna sit where we want.
Oh, you think it's a game, huh?
Get up or get beat down.
Yo, Ted, let's go, man. Let's go to the locker room. We're running plays.
Move now.
You wanna beat somebody up, huh, tough guy?
He just asked for an ass-whupping.
l've been waiting for this.
-Yeah. Yeah. -Ted.
l'll beat you like you stole something.
Go ahead.
Start beating.
Can't beat me no worse than l been beating myself...
...for wanting to be friends with you.
All this time, l was just fronting to be cool.
Because l didn't have the balls enough to be myself.
So instead, l started dissing my real friends.
But, hey, this is who l am.
Alvin Johnson. Pool boy.
l like blended mocha lattes, with a little foam on the top.
l like Michael Jackson's Bad album.
This is me.
And l ain't afraid to admit it.
So go ahead, Ted.
Do it.
Hit me.
And l'm gonna show you who's bad.
-Ted, what you gonna do? -Yeah, Ted.
Who's bad?
You are a freak!
Yeah.
-Take your boy. -Chill, we got him.
Yeah, you chill. You chill.
All right.
Alvin.
Alvin, stop.
Hey. Hey, baby.
l've been thinking. l'm gonna give you one more chance to apologize.
l have other dreams.
Other dreams? l'm your meal ticket.
Pool boy, right? You bugging.
Alvin, stop.
-Alvin, l know. l know what you're thinking. -No.
-You think you know. -No. l know.
You're all mad at yourself and feeling like some kind of fool...
...because you've been fronting about who you are for two weeks?
l been fronting about who l am, who l wanna be...
...for as long as l can even remember.
And on the real, l'm tired--
[ENGLlSH]